


Who We Are

by littlewonder



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, M/M, Slytherin's Locket, Sword of Gryffindor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 15:45:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11900922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlewonder/pseuds/littlewonder
Summary: While Harry and Ron confront and destroy Slytherin's locket, in the shadows Snape and Lupin must face each other.





	Who We Are

"Hermione, can I talk to you?"

She turned to Lupin. "Of course," she said. "What is it?"

He drew his shoulders back, his eyes heavy. "I know you plan to leave here with Harry and Ron --"

She turned away, gripping her bag tightly. "I don't know what you're talking about --"

"It's okay, Hermione, I don't mind," Lupin quickly reassured her. "It's what he would've wanted, Dumbledore..." She looked at him, turned fully to him now. He continued, "I don't think you should be out there alone. If you ever want to talk to an adult while you're out there, or ask for advice..." He pulled out a mirror. "I don't need it anymore. My work for the Order doesn't require it."

"Lupin, I can't --"

"Call me Remus," he said. "You're old enough now. Leaving Hogwarts…"

"Remus," she said. She took the mirror, and placed it carefully in her purse.

\--

"Severus."

The silver doe dissipated to his right, as Severus drew himself up to his full height and faced Remus, almost invisible next to his black tree. But Remus had seen his face by the light of the patronus that he understood now had came from him. "So this is why I never saw your patronus."

"So now you know my dark secret."

"I don't know how dark it is, Severus. I think it's as light as she is. You shouldn't have to pretend around me. We've both spent lifetimes hiding who we are from other people. Isn't it about time we stop running?"

"I can't stop."

"No, of course not," said Remus, looking out at the lake where Harry was preparing to dive in. "You can't stop any more than he can. We're all caught up in this battle… but it's not who we are." He looked back at Severus. "There's more to us than being warriors or spies. I see that now. When you killed Dumbledore, I thought I was seeing what you really were. Forgive me, I never knew."

"It isn't what you think."

"You loved her. Don't bother denying it, Severus. You have a heart."

"I always had a heart, that was always the problem. I was tormented my whole life by people like you. And it hurt. Why should I not protect myself? Why should you think you're so special to me?"

"No, I suppose I never was. Why should I be? She was your best friend. What was I, to you, but just another tormentor?"

He looked away, just in time to see Ron pull Harry from the lake. "That was us, once. Perhaps not as friendly, but I defended you, Severus. And you tolerated me. Protected me. I haven't forgotten."

Severus stood stock-still. Remus cautiously approached, watchful of Severus's reaction. Severus flinched. Remus jumped in surprise.

"Severus… what are you afraid of?"

Away in the clearing, the locket burst open, and cruel voices taunted Ron. What cruel taunts did Severus have saved for him? What lies did he tell himself to keep Remus away?

If he was Ron, Severus was the locket: a container for every bad memory or feeling, sucking the life from Remus's heart. Severus's love was cruel, and he almost wished he loved Tonks instead, a love as bright as she was, and loyal. But she wasn't like him; she shared none of the darkest corners of him, just as the Marauders had never seen the lonely parts that they never could've understood. It was the part of him that always called to Severus, because he recognised that quality of being so isolated, and how it can tear you apart.

But judging from the look on his face now, Severus wasn't holding back any angry taunts, not this time. He really looked broken.

"Severus?" asked Remus, taking a few steps further forward, reaching a hand out to touch his shoulder. 

Severus backpedalled. "Don't," he said.

"But why, Severus?"

"Just, don't."

Remus withdrew his arm, bodies parallel as they faced each other. He wanted to inch closer, but he didn't dare. Discomfort and guilt was written on Severus's face.

"What is it, Severus?"

Severus's eyes flicked up into Remus's. "We are on opposite sides of this war. We're enemies, I hate you."

"Severus."

"I love Lily."

"Severus."

"I love you."

Silence fell as quickly as the almost invisible tear down Severus's cheek. Guilty, he turned away to see Ron falter over the vision before him. If he was in Weasley's position, then Remus was the sword. The only man who could breach him, the only one who could penetrate his heart. And perhaps the only one he could fight back the demons of this world with. If he could just find the strength to raise him up.

"Severus."

Air caught in his throat, and his head returned to Remus, another tear chasing the same path after the first. Severus clenched his whole body, sick with rage. "I am so sick of this pain. I'm sick of love."

This time Remus really did reach out and touch him. "So am I."

Severus balked at that. "No big argument? No speeches about having faith in love?"

"It wouldn't make a difference even if I wanted to. But I don't have much faith left. I've been tired for so long. I gave up on love and married the first person who would have me, all because I thought I'd lost the one I really loved forever. And now he's standing before me, saved." He brought his hand up and cupped Severus's cheek. For a moment, the tension was shocked out of Severus's body, but he quickly tensed up his arm again and squeezed his fist, fighting for control. But when Remus brushed his hand up Severus's arm, the hairs lit up and there was no holding back. Wrapping fists up in his hair, Severus kissed Remus hard on the mouth, the culmination of decades of desire.

Somewhere in the clearing, the Sword of Gryffindor pierced the heart of Slytherin's Locket.


End file.
